The Day The Earth Stood Still

The above image shows an audience member who just happens to resemble the lead actor, whose vitals signs are measured, as are all other viewers, so that medical assistance can be rushed to them as the film methodically sends them into a manic state of eco-insanity. Keanu Reeves stars in two sorts of films: Good and Crap. This is the latter and should not be allowed to draw on the good name of the original, directed by Robert Wise.

The plot: Mysterious glowing spheres land around Earth, the largest of which touches down in Central Park, New York, lit up like a '70's area disco globe. The US government rounds up a team of scientists ahead of its landing, one of whom is Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly). Out of the Central Park sphere - now surrounded by military and police, who are emphasised to be incredibly poorly coordinated (despite the previously demonstrated massive coordination effort to assemble the science team) emerges Klaatu. He approaches Helen and is - like the original movie's Klaatu - shot by unidentified trigger happy cop or soldier. Giant robot (later labelled GORT by the US military) springs from the sphere to rescue him, but Klaatu immobilies it.

Rushed to a secure medical lab, Klaatu meets the US Secretary of Defense, whom refuses to allow him to speak to the United Nations and tries to lock him up. Blah blah blah.

In summary: To cut a long and tedious story short, this is yet another iteration of what has become the standard ecopropaganda now injected into most modern Hollywood films. It is rubbish. The judgment isn't necessary a commentary on Mr. Reeves - he is a solid, if monotonous actor whose persona fits very well with the character of Klaatu. Writer David Scarpa and Director Scott Derickson are the real culprits for this film that sorely lack anything with the semblance of either faith to the original or originality itself. The film couldn't even eke out any subtlety, such as the original's Klaatu using the name John Carpenter as when he stayed in the boarding house in NY.

The Casablanca comparison: Imagine if they remade Casablanca, but this time set in a Brazillian village on the Amazon, with Rick Blaine operating a vegan cafe (sans coffee) and Ilsa wanting to take a boat up river to escape the vicious capitalism enslaving the planet. Rick puts her on the boat, sending her on her way with a comment about their lives not mattering in comparison to the plight of the Amazonian yellow spotted tree frog.

The rating: 0 out of 5.